All good parents want their children to grow up into confident, happy adults. Below are 5 tips that will help send them on their way.
We all use our past experiences to make decisions. Adults are more likely to make better decisions compared to children because they have more past experiences to draw from.
If a 4 year old child is trying to process something he or she only has 4 years worth of past life experience available to them. It is very likely that they will come to the wrong conclusions when faced with processing uncomfortable events or situations.
It is not the intensity of the experience that makes the event traumatic, it’s the beliefs that come from the experience that are important.
Here are some tips to help you keep your child grounded.
1. Children’s minds are like sponges, they see and hear everything. Many of my clients issues begin in childhood listening to arguments or facing frightening situations and coming to the wrong conclusions.
2. Watch what you say to them because young children take things literally! Children who grow with abuse believe that everything’s their fault, that they are stupid, that they don’t deserve to be happy, that they are not good enough etc etc
3. If your child experiences something uncomfortable talk to them afterwards about their feelings and explain anything that they didn’t understand in a language that they understand. Then they can then process that experience with the correct information.
4. Allow 10 minutes just before bedtime to talk about their day to allow them to talk about anything that may have happened during the day. Assure them that it’s ok to feel their feelings as feelings are there to tell them that something needs to be addressed. Many of my clients have held on to feelings of anger, fear, frustration, guilt or shame that have been suppressed for years from their childhoods.
5. Before they go to sleep tell them that you love them, tell them that they are wonderful, clever, beautiful and that they can do anything they set their minds on.