22/08/2022 Alex Evans Hypnotherapist

Envy, the killer of joy

Do you feel angry that other people seem to be much happier than you? Does their life look better than yours, and does it leave you feeling like you’re failing in some way. Is life unfair and unkind to you? This is called envy, the killer of joy!

It’s important to understand that we all have a genetic in built system that compares and ranks everything we come into contact with. Thats why there are hierarchies in life, some of them you might not like but they are essential for making sense of the world in which we live.

This inbuilt ranking system can cause us problems if we rank ourselves to low or too high. If we rank ourselves too high we can become over confident and self absorbed. If we rank ourselves too low it can make us feel terrible about ourselves and fearful of life.

Envy comes from not being able to accept our position in the hierarchy and looking for someone else or something else to blame for where we are. Besides it is much easier to blame someone or something else than it is to look inside. Taking responsibility for our actions can be a very bitter pill to swallow!

In my book How to get over the start line I talk about how our belief systems are formed in early childhood and that they stay with us into adulthood. Most of us have an unrealistic view of ourselves or carrying bad beliefs from back then.

So what is the solution? It may be comforting to know that the people who you envy are probably not as perfect or as happy as you think. We all have a genuine ‘self’ with our fears and imperfections and another self that we project to the world that represents what we think they want to see. Learning to be comfortable with our genuine self, concentrating on improving our own lives and not concerning ourselves with others life’s removes the pressure to be someone that we are not. You may think that other people are always thinking about you, talking about you, judging you or laughing at you but in truth people don’t care about you, they’re to busy worrying about themselves. You do not occupy every waking moment of their existence.

Happy people are absorbed in their own lives, they are comfortable with who they are and are genuinely happy for other people when things go well for them. Now this is the goal so how do you achieve it? It’s not easy, but the first step is to recognise how much energy you’re wasting by focusing on other peoples life’s and redirecting that energy into your own life. Then you take a long hard look at your beliefs about yourself and how they effect how you feel. If you can’t do it on your own then get someone else to help. What you’ll find is that you are actually quite a nice person deep down.

If you want to know more about hypnotherapy and how it can help remove unhelpful beliefs and unwanted behaviour fill in the contact box below or give me a call on 07899886882. If you are not ready to ask for help don’t you check out my book ‘How to get over the start line.’ It will explain the minds operation and give you an idea of how to begin your healing journey.

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